trippinlots

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still awake by trippinlots, literature

Literature

still awake

Ok I lied I.m still awake. With these feelings I never shake. I sit here hopeless and full of shame. Yes I did it. I got high again. But I will be honest i'll tell it true... I dont know how to rid these blues. I feel lost any found at the same time, truly haunted by my own ryme. So here I sit in this quiet room filling my head with worry and doom. Please be real and not some trick. Please dont stab my soul to shit. Please tell me my nightmare has come to a end please be real about being my friend. So here u read my deepest thoughts as I write the feeling that should be tossed Tell me shy girl why did u find me. These unanswered questi

crystal clear by trippinlots, literature

Literature

crystal clear

Incase u wonder. Yes I m crystal clear. Its been hard wirh out my dear friend to help me along but this twist was thrown into my life. I am busy trying to figure it all out. But I have been away from that demon crystal and its a blessing. I just wish I could figure out what the catch is. There is always one good feeling that will top another. But when a feeling tops them all there is a catch. But at least this catch doesnt like crystsl. And thats all good. But even without crystal hanging around, I still cant sleep right. I.m still up all the time. I wish I could drift off to sleep like normal ppl do. Is there really an

whats the catch by trippinlots, literature

Literature

whats the catch

I've been busy. But I think its a trick. My life always seem to slip to shit. As all can see I live in misery and I cant tell you what its done to me. I found a soul that draws me fast. Yet once again I have to ask, whats the catch. I mean at best this is the thing I want the most. I mean to not be lonely and to be held close. But whats the catch I ask again? Or is this more of the fucked up plan. There is always a saddening end to the warmth we find. It just a sick joke played down on mankind. We have emotions that are so strong. We live we love and try to move on. But whats the catch. She seems real nice. She thats its chemestry. Can one

no pill for that by trippinlots, literature

lifetimes before by trippinlots, literature

Literature

lifetimes before

left lost and hopeless once again. i,ll be wandering until the nevers end. there was no warning or signs for me to tell, that over night my life will turn to hell. my heart is bleeding ever more, on my knees begging, "dont walk out that door" whatever reasons you must of had, you could of done so i wasnt left this sad. day by day and night after night, i sit alone and worry , are u alright? facebook google+ twitter and the blog i look for you some little clues in hopes that i can get help with these blues.. some friends are mutual, or at least they say. but not one of you has got her to call me today. i knew you many life times ago, this ti

a old friends help by trippinlots, literature

Literature

a old friends help

Many nights I spend missing my lost friend. I do t know how to get her to hear me. The lost friend is one from long long ago. From the time when love was warm not cold. Mythology say there are souls and soulmates. Where do you attach them together. I M confused. My hearts still deeply bruised. For her to just walk away becasue of a little rough wave on a mid spetember day.. these teard thst I'm forcing to not be shed are starting to fall as I rethink it all. How do you show soneone the depths of ones soul. How can you show them drugs no longer control. How doon will it be that these feelings will stop. The pain is so deep I think my he

twilight princesss missing link by trippinlots, literature

Literature

twilight princesss missing link

the fist smash didnt work out too good. the sadness is swelled and and my horror still stood. so i loaded it up (that spike) once again. in hopes that the second one would help ease the pain. the plunger is pushed and my heart starts to race but now it the mirror that i wont dare to face. the guilt it here once again with the fear. if only she was here that one missing dear. it seem that as i float through this buzz its still not strong enough, here comes another shove. nope it didnt fill the void or the love that i miss. its only her that i feel will ever repair this there is for sure no pill or drug to fix the heart, it not even curable

shame on me by trippinlots, literature

Literature

shame on me

well i did the fool that i am i filled that spkie and slammed it in again. its been four months and three days since i have dealt with the guilt and the pain. the guilt of the mess that i first caused for us and the pain that is left when she had had enough. its no point in saying that this buzz will fix my heartache i.ll just grow like a cake in the oven to bake. the needle is at most the worst of them all because it takes such little for a soul to fall. i tried to hold on and wait for her to come back, i am deeply sorry for the will that i lack. i promised myself that it wouldnt happen again but its hard without her here holding my hand.

i cant throw it out by trippinlots, literature

Literature

i cant throw it out

when you left i waited a bit. then i took a look at all this shit. the shit i mean is the stuffr that made our life. the stuff you loved and the stuff we bought. i am told to throw it out in one shot. to just chuck it all is the hardest thing for me to do. what if i did it and you came back again. its been six times that youve run off to hide. if you came home to nothing id want to die. the memories are all in this stuff. i started to pack ir all and its been rough. tell please just say the words. tell me not to and it wont make the curb. its all our life . its what made us us everyone say i should turn it to dust. a fire a match a bit o

inject by trippinlots, literature

Literature

inject

just fill the spoon and add some water. light the match and watch it melt. push the plunger and wait for it. that magical rush of i forget ... forget the pain that steels my life forget the lose of my wife. forget the time when it hurt so bad forget the fact that i am a dad forget the hurt that swells inside forget all this i have just lied. push the plunger and feel it all feel all the reason that caused my fall. feel it more and more each time i used why oh why do i give myself the abuse. why is just the question i have yet to figure out if i dont slow down it a overdose no doubt. if only she would come back soon. surly id throw out t

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still awake by trippinlots, literature

Literature

still awake

crystal clear by trippinlots, literature

Literature

crystal clear

whats the catch by trippinlots, literature

Literature

whats the catch

no pill for that by trippinlots, literature

lifetimes before by trippinlots, literature

Literature

lifetimes before

a old friends help by trippinlots, literature

Literature

a old friends help

twilight princesss missing link by trippinlots, literature

Literature

twilight princesss missing link

shame on me by trippinlots, literature

Literature

shame on me

i cant throw it out by trippinlots, literature

Literature

i cant throw it out

inject by trippinlots, literature

Literature

inject

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alex012000

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alxplaysguitar

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ellemennoP

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Invoking

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Huks905

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Crushed. by Invoking, literature

Literature

Crushed.

I know how upset That you've got to be And I feel it too Cause it's part of me Please understand That I'd never hurt you But as it would seem That's all I can do And I tried so hard Just to make things be right I guess not enough We both still cried here last night Please understand That I still love you Even though things Are so misconstrued I know how much That it must have crushed you Believe me I know Cause it wasn't just you...

Untitled Poem by LiteralNovice, literature

Literature

Untitled Poem

If I could stop the world today It means I will not fail, It means I would not feel the pain Of falling off the trail, And all the while, the world is turning, Burning like the fire's burning, Like a bang, the passion's gone, The scorch of hell is all and done. The world seems so corrupt - and think It's hard to think this way, Though there are those with taught ideals They hold day after day, To hurt one's self will ease the pain, To go to work will make no gain, To kill is to commit no crime, To live is to run out of time. My friends and family help me To suffer blows and hits, My sympathy keeps me alive But I feel blown

Confession no. 7 by Huks905, literature

Confession no. 24 by Huks905, literature

I AM METH by Gryphia08, literature

Literature

I AM METH

I am Meth This was written by a young girl who was in jail for drug Charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in Jail. As you will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors Of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound Poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, The drug owned her. They found her dead not long after. Please keep praying. This thing is worse than any of us Realize... I am Meth......... I destroy homes, I tear families apart, I take your children, and that's just the start. I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold, The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold. If you

What I Meant. by Invoking, literature

Literature

What I Meant.

*Accidentally bumps into you* -What I said- Oh, I’m so sorry..! -What I meant- I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand Cause even though I do the very best that I can I can’t face this world alone There’s too much I don’t understand *Accidentally holds your hand* -What I said- Is everything alright? -What I meant- What should I do if I can’t tell between The reality of life or if it’s just a dream? I can tell the world is real enough It’s just not as pretty as it seems *Accidentally hugs you* -What I said- Are you okay? -What I meant- I guess I never wanted to believe That something I helped

I'm Alive..? by Invoking, literature

Literature

I'm Alive..?

Don't try to see the good in me Cause it's hidden behind lock and key I never let anyone inside Won't let them wipe the tears I've cried I don't think they'd really care If they knew of all the scars I bear They try to make me feel less worthless But I know that I deserve this For still having a beating heart I'm trying not to fall apart But you Just take me Make me feel Erase these lies Tell me what's real Hold me close Hold me all night Make me feel like I'm alive.

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About trippinlots

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Canada
Deviant for 10 years

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My Bio

Just a lonely broken heart.. been to hell and back and its nit that hard to come back. Its easier I'm told if you have family snd friend s that got your back.

Favourite Movies

candy, trainspotting, fear and loathing in las vegas, the dark crystal, labyrinth, beautiful creatures,

Favourite TV Shows

breaking bad, dextet, csi miami,

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

pure, n.I.n, smashin pumkins , blink182, passanger, metric, mody, deadmau5,

Favourite Books

celestine prophecy, narcotics anonymis,. uncle festers secrets of meh manufacturing.

Other Interests

people watching. trying to smile.waiting for my soul to become complete

Posts

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trippinlots

Apr 5, 2017

Untitled

0 min read

I am going nuts with all this.  There is some crazy high pitch sound I hear only in my room. As I lay in bed it almost feels like there is cm some kinda something.   Like a current of some sort. My back starts to ache and my eyes were watering.  My muscles tense up like there is some kinda current . Anyways I can't fall asleep with that crazy high pitch sound.  I slept a couple hours last night woke up 1am. Went to a job interview and got home at 11.45 tried to fall asleep and that sound came back. All crazy. It's just fucked. When I was in bed my phones screen went all fucked up half the screen just flickered then went all Grey.  I moved aw

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trippinlots

Jun 10, 2016

So I'm fee again.

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trippinlots

Jan 14, 2014

them fucking demons

0 min read

So there has to be a end to this sadness.  Gloomy clouds and slushy sidewalks tend to keep my in my lost depressed state.  Summer. Oh how I wish for summer. I could very well pick up and move to the tropics.  If it was only that easy. I cant even keep shit together  well enough for myself to get to the doctors on time never mind trying to organize a trip to the tropics.  Just a sad mess that seems to keep getting worse as the days go by.. I remember the energy I had when I first met her.  It was a strange feeling. The depression seemed to have vanished at that point in my life.  Souls that are lost need to be found  when the two half's  meet

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Profile Comments 3

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Huks905

Aug 22, 2015

Thank you for commenting and favouriting some of my poems; I really appreciate it!
Hug

Natsuko-Hiragi

Jan 18, 2014

Hey thank you for watching us^^

trippinlots

Jan 19, 2014

i want to join in the fun. i had a good partner but she got mixed up into drugs too much so we split up. i do like what your doing,. i.m trying to recover my backup drive that has some really nice stuff on it

but yeah i want to come play too